Have you ever been ambushed? Learning to Anticipate the Movements of Others

Recently we took my young son to a petting zoo. All of the animals were in a fenced pen, so they couldn’t escape (and more importantly neither could my son!). Even though I was a tad apprehensive about putting him down inside a fenced enclosure with a whole bunch of live animals, I took the risk and did it anyway.

The result? Picture a pinball bouncing around off the various stops and paddles in a pinball game (predecessors to video games for those of you too young to remember!). Zoom! Zoom! Zoom! He ran freely amongst the animals, fearless, chasing them, petting them , and yes bouncing off one to the next with glee! Although he wasn’t scared of the animals at all, at one point one of the animals made a move that he wasn’t anticipating. The animal walked directly in front of my son, who in turn ran smack into him and promptly fell down.

Obviously the animal’s move was unexpected and sudden to my son. When you’re not even 2 years old, you haven’t quite gotten the hang of anticipating what other people are going to do or how they’re going to behave. So do we ever get the hang of these things?

Consider office politics. Isn’t it the same way? Have you ever been in a situation with someone you thought was a colleague, or someone whom you thought was your ally, who then suddenly turned on you in a meeting? Or maybe they went behind your back and complained about you to your co-workers and/or your boss? Were you anticipating that? (I bet not).

Sometimes when we least expect it, someone we thought was our friend turns on us. Everyone in the office is a shark, constantly moving and navigating through the proverbial waters. But it can happen even when you’re not in an office setting. Because most people are trusting by nature,  they don’t anticipate a sudden turn of events (or a turncoat!).

I remember this happened to me once. I attended a seminar I had paid a fair sum of money for. Afterward I approached one of the presenters to ask a question. The guy completely took me by surprise because first he insulted me, and then he told me that there was no way I could do what I was asking. My response? What a jerk!

Maybe because I am honest and always look for the good in other people, I was not prepared for that. What is the proper response? Push back! Give it right back to them! Stand up for yourself! Now I am not normally that kind of person – it is completely against my nature to get in someone’s face (does this describe you?), but there are times when it is appropriate, especially when you have been ambushed. Of course, it speaks more to the other person’s lack of character, professionalism, and grace, and reflects more on them than it does on you. If you think about it – he insulted a paying customer! You don’t have to be ugly to people to make your point.

In my coaching practice, I teach my clients how to push back. What do you say when an unexpected (and sometimes nasty) situation crops up that you weren’t expecting? How do you know what kind of person will respond in certain ways? How do you handle an unpleasant situation? There are ways to push back without being mean or nasty in return, or stooping to the other person’s level. As a result my clients are more self-assured and self-confident, and rarely get caught off guard anymore. Whoohoo! More power to them . ..

How about you?

Has anything like this ever happened to you? If so I would love to hear about it!