Tips for Stress Management

I am pleased to have this guest post from Joyce M. Gayles, PhD. Dr. Gales is a Clinical Psychologist and Life Coach, whom I saw speak recently at a networking luncheon. Her topic, on how to reduce and avoid stress for more life balance, really hit home with me. So today she offers these tips on how to handle stress in your life, just in time for the Holidays. Enjoy!

Most articles and even books on stress management take only two roads—how to avoid stress and how to cope with stress that you can’t avoid.  I’ll, of course, tell you about these two broad roads; but I’m also excited to introduce you to a third pathway of living a life on purpose and freer from the stresses that come from the vicissitudes of life.

Since stress is defined as any change to which you must adapt, it becomes obvious why so many of us are stressed-out in our fast-paced, 21^st century world.  We are coping with natural disasters near and far, economic uncertainties, and wars.  We are launching new businesses, starting new relationships (or ending ones, planning for retirement, or just planning for the holidays.  Our stresses vary in intensity; but they are all about changes.

So, what’s to do about stress?  Stress Management is not a set of techniques or even a personal discipline.  It’s a change of attitude and a paradigm shift.  By adopting a positive attitude, learning healthier ways to cope and changing aspects of our lifestyles, we can reduce the impact of stress on our lives.

Assess your stress:

How?

Start a stress journal which can help you identify the regular stressors in your life and the ways you deal with them.  When you feel worried or distressed, identify these 4 things:

• What caused your stress
• How you felt, both physically and emotionally
• What your initial response was
• What you did to cope or feel better

Keeping a journal allows you to see patterns and themes and may bring overlooked problems to light.

Avoid Unnecessary Stress

You may be surprised by the number of stressors you can eliminate when you:

• Set boundaries
• Avoid people who stress you out
• Avoid hot-button topics
• Pare down your “to-do” list

Adapt to the Stressor

• If you can’t change the stressor, change yourself.  You are less affected by stressful situations and gain a greater sense of control by changing your expectations and attitude.
• Don’t expect perfection from yourself or from others.
• Focus on gratitude or the things you appreciate in life, including your own positive qualities and gifts.Be sure to create time for rest and relaxation and play in your life.  Do things that you enjoy on a regular basis.
• Spend time with positive people who enhance your life.

The third road, and the road that I love to teach for living a relatively stressless life in a stressed-out world is called Life on Purpose (LOP).

LOP is an approach to investing your Life Capital© so that you are less vulnerable to the impact of personal and professional transitions, such as career changes or retirement, kids going off to college, or those crazy ups and downs in our larger world.  Life on Purpose isn’t just about your business or professional identity or your identity as a parent or a spouse.  LOP is about putting your Life Capital©, that is all the moments of your life, into a context that shapes your life according to your design.

Life on Purpose allows you to be stress resilient in 3 ways:

• Having regular nurture in your life is one of the surest ways to become less vulnerable to stress, as your life purpose is designed to nurture you.
• When you know who you really are and what you really want; you make much better choices.
• Your life is shaped by your Life Purpose rather than by what others expect or by what you think you should be doing.
• When you know your Life Purpose and are living in alignment with it, you begin to have flow in your life and less stress as a result!

Best wishes to all of you for a happy, healthy, and prosperous holiday season and 2012.

Joyce M. Gayles, PhD©

www.Transformationworks.com