The Balancing Act Part II

Yesterday I spoke on work/life balance for an absolutely fabulous roomful of ladies at a Houston Women’s Luncheon. This particular women’s group consisted of graduates from my alma mater, Texas A&M University; and I was honored to be asked to speak. The room hosted a variety of women at various places in their careers and at different ages – some single, some married with kids, some married with no kids yet, and even some grandmothers!

In my talk – “The Balancing Act” – I discuss the challenges working women face when deciding if and when to have children in their life, the benefits and stigma of going part-time in the corporate world, and the decision many career women make to start a business after having children. Recent college grads who are extremely focused on their career may think they have all the time in the world to get pregnant and have children.

However, waiting to have children after the age of 35 can cause other, sometimes unforeseen issues, including infertility, and possible birth defects. Those things, combined with a few other issues that come with being older parents, including being part of the “sandwich generation” (simultaneously taking care of elderly parents and young children), not having as much energy later in life to raise kids, and being the oldest mom in the room when at children’s school events and activities, can make parenthood very challenging at an older age. Afterward, the Q&A session generated an excellent discussion among the attendees. Below are some of the highlights.

Are most companies open to the idea of letting women work part-time after she has a child?

The group had different experiences with this situation. In the end it comes down to the individual company – who you work for really does matter. Larger companies may be less sensitive about losing women who are good employees than smaller companies are. Smaller companies know that good people are hard to find and they may value them more, thus allowing them to have part-time opportunities when their children are younger. If companies are “old school” or are run by “good ‘ol boys” then you may have less of a chance to go part-time. In any case, you must first prove yourself to the firm and be valued before you can approach the firm about any of these options.

When women decide they have had enough of 80+ hour work weeks, and want out of Corporate America, what are their options?

At this point, many women go part-time, try flex-time, quit entirely, or start their own business. Each of one of these options has its pros and cons. But overall, when women leave companies for more flexibility, the workforce loses talented, capable people! And even though the corporate world’s loss is the PTA/PTO’s gain, these are still huge issues unless companies recognize that they need to provide more flexibility for working mothers.

Women leave Corporate America for many reasons, many times for more flexibility. But there are other reasons as well. Many hit the glass ceiling, meaning they have gone as far as they can go with a certain company or even in a certain career (I coach a lot of people who are in this position and who are looking for a career change). Others hit a different kind of ceiling, in terms of a pay cap on their salaries, and decide to leave to start their own business.

What if a woman decides to quit her job and stay home with her children for a few years?

If a woman decides to re-enter the workforce, then she will have to see what the economy is like at that time. She may have to brush up on her skills, technical or otherwise, before starting the job hunt process.

What about gaps in a resume? That can be compensated for with volunteer activities; furthermore in this economy, having a 1 or 2 year gap in work experience is not unusual because many people who have been laid off are often between jobs for an extended period of time. If a stay-at-home-mom decides to start her own business after a few years, then she may need to hire a business coach to help her get started.

What if you are extremely focused on your career and you don’t have kids, are you more likely to get promoted?

The answer to this one was a “Yes”. A woman from the audience answered and said that because she didn’t have children, that she was able to rise to a higher rank within a company than her female counterparts with children, and also she was able to travel when others couldn’t. However, one of my own clients sacrificed having a family in order to attain the status of “partner” at one of the big consulting firms, and today she no longer works there!

The bottom line is that you never know what’s going to happen to you in your life. You may or may not have kids, but don’t live with the regret of not having them in favor of a career. Sometimes your plans don’t work out, or what you thought you were going to do with your life changes. As you get older, your priorities change. You may go through a career change as what you decided to do with your life originally (ie. what you studied in college), is no longer fulfilling. Bottom line – don’t live with regrets because it’s the things in life that you don’t do that you will regret the most!

So now I ask you “Do you have any comments and feedback on any of these issues?”If so, I would love to hear your stories!