Work and Life Balance – is there even such a thing?
Last week I gave my signature talk on “The Balancing Act” – learning to balance work and family – to the TBPW in northwest Houston. (If you missed it, you can catch it again next Tuesday here.)
My talk was well-received, though it is not your typical talk regarding work/life balance. Although I do give some tips and tricks for managing the household and work, the talk covers specific issues and struggles that women face regarding careers, marriage, and having children.
Life is about choices, and for women in particular, whether or not to have children is one of the biggest choices she will ever make! Either way it will impact the rest of your life!
There is no good time to have a family. There is such a thing as being too young, and not having enough life experience, or enough money, to raise a child. However if you wait until you have enough money to have kids you may never have kids!
There are some advantages and disadvantages to waiting to have a family. Women are getting married later for many reasons (societal and financial), but is there such a thing as waiting too long?
The health of the mother is the most important determining factor in whether or not you will have a healthy baby. There are certain risks that go along with “Advanced Maternal Age.” Not only can a pregnancy be high risk, but waiting until beyond the age of 35 can lead to birth defects, and increased incidences of Down’s Syndrome and Autism, which is not often considered when a woman is focused on her career.
Furthermore, there’s the age old argument of whether or not to stay home after you have kids.
After my talk, a woman approached me. She said that children can end up being resentful toward their mom if their mom isn’t there for them while they are growing up. She said that she had worked full-time when her children were young and that they ended up resenting her for it! I really felt for her, as I am sure this was a difficult admission for her to make.
I have heard similar stories about immigrants, particularly women, who come to the U.S. to work. They leave their families, often young children, behind in order to work and send money home. In this way, they think they are taking care of their children, but the children end up being resentful of their parents because they are not around. When this happens to young boys, they can end up in gangs because they have no other role models.
So what’s the balance?
That’s why, as a “Full-Time Woman” myself (working/career mom with kids), I advocate a part-time or flexible career. Being a stay-at-home mom, while admirable, is not for everyone! Some women must keep their own sense of self and identity, and many do this through a job or a career.
So now I ask you – what’s the balance?
Is there such a thing as waiting too long to have children? Why or why not?
What are some ideas and suggestions you have to deal with work/life balance?
You can definitely wait too long to have children and few people know whether they will have trouble with a pregnancy, but having children way too early is also difficult unless you have a lot of support. I think that some of this depends on the type of career that you choose. If you can pick a career where you can support yourself with a college degree or master’s degree, there is still plenty of time to have children. I went to school way too long and had my child immediately after getting my Ph.D., which has made my early career years tough. As far as the day to day balance after having a child, that is another issue altogether. Again, your ability to balance it all depends on the resources and support that you have.
Hi Karen – I would like to add how important it is to have a supportive partner in raising kids and being a working/career woman. My husband and I work together daily as a team to ‘try’ to keep our lives in balance.
Thank you Gayla! I agree completely and I appreciate your pointing that out!