The Balancing Act

Posted on March 5, 2012 by Karen

Work and Life Balance – is there even such a thing?

Last week I gave my signature talk on “The Balancing Act” – learning to balance work and family – to the TBPW in northwest Houston. (If you missed it, you can catch it again next Tuesday here.)

My talk was well-received, though it is not your typical talk regarding work/life balance. Although I do give some tips and tricks for managing the household and work, the talk covers specific issues and struggles that women face regarding careers, marriage, and having children.

Life is about choices, and for women in particular, whether or not to have children is one of the biggest choices she will ever make! Either way it will impact the rest of your life!

There is no good time to have a family. There is such a thing as being too young, and not having enough life experience, or enough money, to raise a child. However if you wait until you have enough money to have kids you may never have kids!

There are some advantages and disadvantages to waiting to have a family. Women are getting married later for many reasons (societal and financial), but is there such a thing as waiting too long?

The health of the mother is the most important determining factor in whether or not you will have a healthy baby. There are certain risks that go along with “Advanced Maternal Age.” Not only can a pregnancy be high risk, but waiting until beyond the age of 35 can lead to birth defects, and increased incidences of Down’s Syndrome and Autism, which is not often considered when a woman is focused on her career.

Furthermore, there’s the age old argument of whether or not to stay home after you have kids.

After my talk, a woman approached me. She said that children can end up being resentful toward their mom if their mom isn’t there for them while they are growing up. She said that she had worked full-time when her children were young and that they ended up resenting her for it! I really felt for her, as I am sure this was a difficult admission for her to make.

I have heard similar stories about immigrants, particularly women, who come to the U.S. to work. They leave their families, often young children, behind in order to work and send money home. In this way, they think they are taking care of their children, but the children end up being resentful of their parents because they are not around. When this happens to young boys, they can end up in gangs because they have no other role models.

So what’s the balance?

That’s why, as a “Full-Time Woman” myself (working/career mom with kids), I advocate a part-time or flexible career. Being a stay-at-home mom, while admirable, is not for everyone! Some women must keep their own sense of self and identity, and many do this through a job or a career.

So now I ask you – what’s the balance?

Is there such a thing as waiting too long to have children? Why or why not?

What are some ideas and suggestions you have to deal with work/life balance?

Posted in Careers and Career Development, Parenting, Work/Life Balance | 3 Comments

New Facebook Changes

Posted on February 16, 2012 by Karen

Once upon a time Facebook was a wide open platform. It was new and exciting! Early adopters of Facebook quickly discovered its practical uses for business and used the power of Facebook to do pioneering work to become successful online entrepreneurs.

But all good things must end . . . or at least change . . .

Recently Facebook has incrementally added more restrictions – some of these are very subtle. For instance, last night when I logged in, I was greeted by an unusual message. Immediately upon logging in, a message popped up in my face stating that I had been “reported” for requesting to be friends with someone who didn’t know me (or who was not my friend). I was required to acknowledge Facebook’s “policy” before I was allowed to proceed any further and go on to my own page.  The funny thing is that I don’t send out many “friend requests” at all!

Does anyone know exactly when this new policy was implemented?

Another thing I noticed is that you can no longer “tag” someone in a photo without their permission.

It hasn’t always been this way  . . . once upon a time when Facebook was new, you could invite anyone who was on Facebook to be your friend. With over 500 billion users, this was the power of Facebook that first made online entrepreneurs see dollar signs! Facebook represented a huge pool of customers (sitting ducks?) all together in one place.

Which brings up an interesting question – what exactly is a friend?

We all have people we know from being online that we wouldn’t know in person. In this way the Internet has enriched and enhanced our lives. Otherwise we would not have a way to meet people who live in other states, or who are not close geographically. Like-minded people who share common interests can join online groups together.  By seeing what people post in their comments and blogs, you can get a pretty good idea of who someone is, even if you’ve never met them.

So is this truly a friend? There are different levels of “friends” – people you have known your entire life vs. people you have just met, for example (but this is a topic best saved for another post!).

So how does Facebook actually know who I know? It has algorithms, true. But I have lived on both the east and west coast (disconnected geographically) as well as in several cities in the great state of Texas. So just how exactly does it know who I know and who I don’t know in-person? And who is Facebook to make that decision for me?

Because you can’t do some of the things you used to do anymore, people are getting resourceful.

Recently I “liked” a business page – it was a hotel in a far off land that I have never been to. The administrator of that page in turn, made me an “Admin” of the hotel page. After that, every time the hotel page updated their status, that update showed up in my Newsfeed. It was a sneaky (and a tad underhanded) way for the hotel page to get more views on their page, as everyone I am connected to could see those updates.  I checked and that page had about 50 admins! Why? Probably because Facebook no longer allows people to “Friend” people they don’t know!

So what’s your take?

Have you noticed, and if so, do you like the new Facebook changes?

Do they affect you?

Will these changes restrict your ability to use Facebook for business?

Are they important?

Posted in Business, Social Media Marketing | 11 Comments

Why is Change So Difficult?

Posted on February 13, 2012 by Karen

As you go through life, you will change who you are. The person you are/were at age 16 will not be the same person you are at age 40 or at age 60. Or you may reinvent yourself, or change careers to become a “new you”!

As you change and grow over time, what you believe may change too. And, paradoxically, many times your beliefs must change in order for you to change and grow!

When you change, it can be good and bad. There can be a dark side to changing who you are as a person. Or you could just get old and cranky! Hopefully the changes you go through as you evolve and grow will be for the better, but one thing is definite – the person you are today will not get you where you want to go. Usually you have a lot to learn in the process of climbing the figurative mountain in order to reach a goal.

Success takes work.

So why can it be so hard to let go of a past self? What keeps people from moving forward into a new life?

Change can be hard. Most people know that.  So why can it be so hard to let go of the old?

For many people, it’s because they are letting go of an identity, and the relative safety of knowing who they are (or who they once were). It can be hard to move from a safe place where you have operated for many years – especially if you were successful – into a new situation. There is a little bit of fear and discomfort associated with change.

But the fact is that you must let go of the old to make room for the new to come into your life. Yes, every bit of it! Yes, even it’s scary. Don’t stagnate! You need to move forward. That’s how we grow!

How about you?

Do you have a personal growth story to share?

Posted in Careers and Career Development, Self-Improvement and Personal Development | 17 Comments

How is Professionalism Related to Getting Clients?

Posted on January 31, 2012 by Karen

What does it mean to be professional? How does professionalism help you get clients?

Generally, the term “professionals” refer to a certain type of profession – doctors, lawyers, and people who hold college degrees, for example. “Professionalism” on the other hand, refers to a type of behavior, or a code of conduct. It’s the manner in which you present yourself every day, regardless of your industry or profession. So what does that involve, and how does it help get clients?

Let’s explore . . .

Do you exhibit professional behavior in your actions, attitudes, and in what you say towards other people?

What you say matters! Each and every day, your choice of words matters! Being professional means learning and applying some simple communication skills when dealing with clients and colleagues.

Do you insult others or worse, resort to name-calling when confronted? Don’t laugh – this actually happened on a conference call I was on with one of the gurus (see previous blog post).

Many people, without thinking, immediately contradict someone else when they disagree with what that person has said. A better approach, one which makes you come across as much more likeable, is to validate what the other person has said. After all, they believe that they are right too.

To state your case, say something like “I can certainly understand your perspective, however you may not have considered ____.” Validation takes tact and diplomacy.

Image! A second factor in coming across professionally is your image. How do you look? No, you don’t have to look like Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt. But it helps to be well groomed and have good hygiene, a professional haircut and clothes, and neatly trimmed nails. You get the idea.

Impression. What do your clients (or co-workers) think of you? As a business owner, one of your top priorities should be to keep your customers happy.

Here’s a simple checklist:

Do you respect other’s opinions?

Do you respect their time?

Do you respect their work?

Are you responsive?

Do you get back to someone quickly? Do you return calls and emails promptly?

Do you have good communication skills? When a client needs something and you don’t have it right away, do you send them a quick email telling them you’ll get back with them once you have the information?

Do you tell your clients up-front that your conversation or project is confidential? This is very important in building trust! They need to know that they can be comfortable talking with you and confide in you if necessary and that you won’t divulge their information. Learn to practice discretion.

Are you a positive, happy person? Do others like being around you? Don’t criticize others or be a downer! Always be positive, happy, and upbeat, especially when you answer the phone! I have received jobs many times because I actually answered the phone (vs. going to voice mail), but also because I was happy to hear from the person and I responded before anybody else. (Note:  There are lot more tips in my book – Full-Time Woman, Part-Time Career).

Now I want to hear from you – do you have any tips on being professional?

Has your professionalism ever got you a new client (perhaps you won out over a competitor)?

How about the other way – has your professionalism (or lack thereof) ever caused you to lose a client?

Is there a time you have gone above and beyond for your clients? If so, I would love to hear about any of these!

Posted in Business, Careers and Career Development, Self-Improvement and Personal Development, Tips for Starting a Business | 10 Comments

Takeaways from the Texas Conference for Women Part II

Posted on January 18, 2012 by Karen

What is the biggest competitor you have online?

The Back Button!

So says Social Media and Branding expert Shama Kabani of The Marketing Zen Group. I was very fortunate to attend her talk during the 11th annual Texas Conference for Women.

Lovely and personable, Shama immediately relates to the audience when she tells the story of her unsuccessful job hunt after college graduation.  A visionary ahead of her time, in interview after interview she touted the benefits and marketing advantages of using Social Media to corporations. Back then, she received a lot of blank stares, a “thanks, we’ll be in touch,” and plenty of rejection letters.

Fast forward to today:  she heads up a global company, and she has used social media to make that happen!  Shama states that there has been a paradigm shift where people are now the media. From yelp.com, to online restaurant reviews, the new marketing paradigm is defined by consumers, rather than corporate ad-driven. Today’s savvy wired in consumers already know what they want and where to go to get it.

(Note from Karen:  Consumer-driven marketing is an expansion on the “crowdsourcing” phenomena, where people in a crowd, where an event is happening in real-time, film it with their cell phones, and then use Social Media platforms to post the video to the Internet and Tweet about it).

According to Shama, the “Top 3 Digital Trends” that will drive the future of the Internet are:

1)      Google +. In late 2010, Facebook surpassed Google in terms of web searches. Google + is Google’s answer to Facebook. It has an advantage because it gives more points on a weighted search because it is Google!

2)      Blogging Communities. Many bloggers get together and post their posts in one place, on one webpage, and on a single website. This has the benefit of increasing traffic to that site, and promoting multiple blogs on a corresponding Facebook page. (Check out Glassheel.com).

3)      Content Aggregates. This pulls content together from all over the web into one place. Within a few years, all video, mobile, web-based content, and TV will become integrated and seamless.

So where is this going?

Today the Internet has evolved into Web 2.0 where the web is used as a social platform to connect, collaborate, and communicate with others. In 5 years, the Internet will be catered to you individually (much like Amazon does today with making suggestions according to your preferences, and Google does with its filtered Internet searches). Because of this consumer expectations will be higher, and thus business owners, marketers, and brand builders must rise to a level above the consumer.

This means two things:

1)      Business owners must innovate, adapt, and aim high to stay one step ahead of the consumer.

2)      Your reputation is online. Watch what you say and what you post. All of the information that you post is being used to create a permanent profile of your buying habits and ultimately your life (think Facebook’s new timeline). Don’t make unprofessional comments because they are stored permanently on a server.  It starts early – according to Shama, 81% of kids under age 2 already have a digital footprint!

So where does that leave you?

Are you constantly innovating in your business?

Do you have a new plan for your business and/or using Social Media going forward?

I would love to hear from you!

Posted in Business, Social Media Marketing | 4 Comments

Are You In The Game?

Posted on January 12, 2012 by Karen

People are still buzzing about the BCS College Championship game and the shutout of Alabama over LSU. One Facebook post said that LSU didn’t even show up! So what happened?

Like anything else, when you go several weeks without playing (practicing, teaching, or doing whatever else it is that you do – in this case, playing football), you are naturally a little rusty. In this case the LSU team was “out of practice” at the game, which is just one of the reasons to explain their loss. When you aren’t “in the game” regularly, you lose your edge.

Did you see the movie Sex and the City 2? If you were a fan of the “Sex and the City” series, one of the things that really made the show successful was the chemistry between the actresses who were the stars of the show. When you work with people on a regular basis, you can almost begin to recognize and anticipate their movements. This is why the show “Who’s Line is it Anyway?” worked so well, unlike Sex and the City 2. By the time the second movie was made, too much time had passed, and the actresses no longer worked together on a regular basis – their comic timing and chemistry were gone.

Being in the game on a regular basis is important. This holds true for nearly any profession. I have known professional speakers who said they wanted to “speak less and earn more.” While on the surface that sounds like an admirable goal, the reality is that you lose your edge if you aren’t speaking or “playing the game” on a regular basis. As Bill Barren says, “Success comes from being in the game, and doing things every day better than you did before!”

 So how about you – are you “in the game” on a regular basis?

Posted in Business, Careers and Career Development | Leave a comment

Time for a Reality Check

Posted on December 20, 2011 by Karen

After I wrote a previous blog post about a harsh comment made by one of the Internet Marketing gurus, the topic has reared its ugly head yet again! That first post hit a collective nerve with people, as indicated by the number of comments on the original post. Since then, it has come up multiple times, which is always a sign that it needs to be addressed again.

Last week I was speaking to a group of people who are in-between jobs. My topic was “Both Sides Now:  The Pros and Cons of Self-Employment vs. Working as An Employee in Corporate America.” One attendee – I’ll call him “Ray” – approached me afterward and told me he enjoyed my presentation because I kept the topic “real”. When I asked him what he meant, he said that “He enjoyed my talk because I was realistic about the pros and cons; that my talk didn’t overhype, overpromise, or embellish.“

Ray went on to say that he liked Dr. Phil for this reason, because in one of his books he opens with a chapter titled “Get Real”. In other words, Dr. Phil’s message is to be realistic about what you can accomplish.

Many new entrepreneurs, who are still in start-up mode, are frustrated because they are not making the money that they think they could or should be making. Because of the instant gratification so prevalent in our culture today, the concept of “paying your dues” has basically gone out the window.

But the fact is that most likely you will not be an instant success. Yes, even with all of the tools available to us today – including the Internet and Social Media – it still takes a lot of work to get established and develop credibility. These tools may make it easier, and give us access to more people, however it still takes time and hard work. And many of the big “gurus” just won’t state this up-front.

Many of them make it sound soooo easy; “All you have to do is Tweet for a few weeks and you will sell out your programs!”

I disagree. I know that you already have to be at a certain level first, in order for that to happen. Not to mention you will need to work with JV partners who will promote you. Chances are you will not sell out your programs or fill your tele-seminars the first time they are offered. It took Ali Brown, Online Marketing Entrepreneur extraordinaire, ten years to build her empire. At one point in time, she could hardly pay her rent! Many of the actors and actresses in Hollywood will attest to this. Eva Longoria paid her dues by working on the soap operas and a failed TV series, before landing the role that made her famous (after 10 years!) on Desperate Housewives!

Not everyone starts at the top. To tell people otherwise is misleading (it isn’t real!). Experts and gurus who tell you otherwise – that you will become a success in a matter of weeks – are not being real. Furthermore, when they judge or criticize their prospective clients for asking about the truth, they alienate them (see previous blog post). So what about you?

Do you believe some of these Internet Marketing Gurus who will tell you that “it’s so easy, anyone can do it”?

Or do you believe that it takes hard work, and consistent and persistent effort on your part to “make it”?

Is it okay to be misleading? If so, when?

Have you ever bought in to a program where you felt misled?  If so I would love to hear from you!

Posted in Uncategorized | 14 Comments

Is Your Business In a Drought?

Posted on December 9, 2011 by Karen

Last month I drove home to Houston from Austin, Texas on a route that took me via Bastrop, a small town in Central Texas that was the scene of devastating wildfires only a few months ago. Driving home, the ground on either side of Highway 71 was completely scorched, like a blackened catfish served right out of the pan! Everywhere I looked, burned, dead trees lined the road.

Scenic Bastrop State Park, where I used to go camping in college, is now gone. All that remains of the once beautiful forest of pine and oak trees is some charred sticks reaching up to the sky.

What caused the fires?

Aside from an errant spark, the fires were caused by the extremely dry conditions due to the second longest running drought in Texas history. Seeing the devastation firsthand compels me to write a post about the drought and how it is affecting businesses. I heard on the radio this morning that revenues to Texas State Parks & Wildlife (a state agency) are down, due to fewer people going to State Parks (not surprising if there is no park to go to!). So I asked a few of my clients how the drought was affecting their business, and received some surprising answers. Read on.

First, let’s look at a landscaping company who is experiencing a 20% drop in business, as a direct result of the drought. It seems that nobody wants to plant new plants that might die for lack of water. On top of this, many homeowners are taking the “DIY” approach and installing their own xeriscaping, instead of using the landscaping company to do it.

A second, unexpected cost of the drought comes in the form of the dead trees. The cost of removing dead trees in the City of Houston alone is estimated at $14 million. This is money that was not budgeted for, thus it has to be taken from other places (other budgets). Due to an average annual rainfall of 50 inches per year, historically Houston has never had to water the grass and trees in its many parks. If the trees are not removed, they become a hazard because they could fall over anytime, anywhere.

Third, a more obvious cost of the drought is to the agricultural industry. Lack of rain throughout Texas has far-reaching consequences that affect many industries and markets nationwide, from beef to wheat to cotton. Texas alone produces 55% of the total cotton crop, and 2011 losses so far are estimated to be $5 billion.

There are other kinds of drought in a business. From unexpected costs, to business downturns, to the economy, all of these are interconnected. What affects one impacts the other. If the economy is poor, then corporations are reluctant to hire, and no new jobs are created. A hiring freeze means no fresh blood, thus no new ideas come into a company, a condition which can lead to stagnation. And, as Jack Welch once said “If you’re stagnant, you’re dead!”

If you’re stagnated in your career, or you’re a solo-preneur who’s in a drought, you might need someone to help you reinvigorate yourself or your business! That’s where coaches come in. Coaches can be a much needed sounding board, accountability partner, or just someone to see things from a fresh perspective. Coaches can help you achieve goals in your business much faster than you would on your own.

How about you?

Are you taking steps daily to grow your business?

When was the last time you had a new client or brought in new business?

Posted in Business, Careers and Career Development | 9 Comments

5 Drawbacks to Career Stagnation and Burnout

Posted on December 5, 2011 by Karen

In previous blog posts we have discussed career change and stagnation, and what to do if you are stagnated in your career. In keeping with that theme, what do you do when you are pigeonholed or stereotyped in a certain role within your chosen profession? You try to do new things, or you may even try to get out of your career field, but people keep putting you back!

This can do two things (the first two of the five): 1) Hold you back by making you afraid (or don’t know how to) to move forward and leave. 2) The second thing it can do is lead to burnout.

Has it happened to you? (Note:  This is not a rhetorical question – please share your stories by commenting below!).

Consider these 3 Career Stories:

One of my clients is a CPA. She specializes in audit, which apparently is a very difficult, tedious area of accounting that not many people actually like to do. It is her specialty, and she has tried to “get out of it” and go into other areas at one time or another. The problem is that her employers are aware of her specialized skill and hire her for her expertise in audit! In other words, she has become “known” for that expertise!

Another client of mine is a wonderfully vibrant and dynamic woman who used to be in a marketing role. She changed careers and went to work for a government agency. Sad to say, but over the years she has been working for this organization, she has lost all semblance of that once bright and lively person. She has become suppressed, oppressed, and “bureaucratized” to the point where she has lost her self-confidence and is now scared to leave. She needs a way to get back in touch with the person that she used to be.

And a little bit of my own story – I have worked as a software instructor in a technology field for 15 years. At some point, I became burned out and decided to give coaching a try.

So what can happen when you become stagnated and/or burned out in a career for a long period of time? There are 3 additional drawbacks, in addition to numbers 1 and 2 above:

3)      Loss of your creativity and creative spark.

4)      Doing the same thing all the time without any change is not a balanced workload and can lead to burnout.

5)      Lost opportunities. How? Because you are burned out and no longer looking at things in new ways or from a fresh perspective. As a result you don’t always see new opportunities when they present themselves. (Note:  This is precisely why many solo-preneurs in this situation hire a coach!)

I would love to hear from you regarding any of the above questions or comments. Thank you! I appreciate my readers’ stories.

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Takeaways from the Texas Conference For Women

Posted on November 30, 2011 by Karen

Two weeks ago I attended the 11th annual Texas Conference for Women in Houston. Begun in 2000, this 1-day annual women’s conference is hosted by the Texas Governor and First Lady. The conference features many amazing attendees and information-packed speaker sessions!

I attended several talks, but one of the best ones was a SRO (standing room only) session given by Mel Robbins.  In case you don’t know, Mel Robbins hosts her own national radio show and is the star of the new hit TV series “Monster-In-Law” on A&E.

According to Robbins, “People who get what they want are strategic rather than emotional,” and “When something bad happens to you, that can often be the best thing that happens to you. Change can force you to do something you wouldn’t do otherwise.”

She offers four (4) specific ways to accomplish your goals and deal with different situations (and the discomfort that goes along with them) that potentially hold you back:

1)      When you feel overwhelmed, it is the signal of a full brain. You need to do a brain dump! Solution:  Write down everything you need to do on a piece of paper (Create a huge TO DO list)! Highlight the 3 most important things to do on the list and take some time to take care of them and get them done.

2)      When you feel tired, you need oxygen! Your brain is throwing the emergency brake to keep you from doing something outside your normal routine. Solution:  Remove yourself from the situation and look at from a different perspective (this is a coaching technique by the way).

3)      Do you feel uncertain or indecisive? Solution:  Just pick something! Set a goal. Make it specific and selfish! Go public with it! Even if it’s something as simple as “Having a happy and stable family.” (Not always so simple, I might add!)  <wink>

4)      Don’t feel like doing it? Solution:  Do it anyway! If you never feel like it, you won’t do it (this applies when going to the gym). Everyone has things in life they don’t want to do! Force yourself to do and try new things.

So what do you say?

Do you like these tips?

Do you have any additional tips to add?

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment